5 Benefits of Outdoor Storage

Are you looking for somewhere to store your car, boat, camper, or truck? Let me guess, your neighbors are annoyed with the big boat blocking not only your driveway, but part of theirs too? It’s time that you look into outdoor storage! We give you tips on what you need to look for and be aware of when looking for the best unit for you.

Outdoor storage is similar to a large parking garage. Many people use outdoor storage for large items that will not fit in a closed unit such as boats, RVs and campers, trucks, and sometimes cars. It is often just cement, asphalt, or gravel with coverings and sometimes surrounded by basic open walls. Depending on the facility and what you are looking for outdoor storage can resemble your New York City parking garage that costs $90/month or can be as simple as an open area to store your RV.

Outdoor self-storage is a benefit for many reasons. Here are listed just a few benefits for you:

1. Affordable rates

Having prices based per square foot allows outdoor storage to be one of the most affordable types of   storage. If you don’t need a large amount of space, you can pay very little. At Albuquerque Self Storage we have lots between 20’ and 35’ for you to choose from.

2. Amenities

While every facility is set up differently, most facilities offer amenities for outdoor storage such as metal roofs or hookups for RVs to protect your items. Having a roof hanging over your vehicle or boat can protect it from sun damage, but don’t forget to protect your items with a cover to even more prevent sun damage and insects ruining your valuables.

3. Business Solution

Short haul trucking companies require parking spots to keep their trucks when they aren’t in use. Landscaping businesses and other companies that require large areas of land to store their business equipment require outdoor storage.

4. Reasonable parking

In metropolitan areas with extremely expensive parking, outdoor storage is the answer. Consider outdoor storage when you want to save a buck on your parking spot.

5. Location

Be sure to consider the location of your outdoor storage facility when looking. Will you need to have access often to your items or can you have it be farther away and not need your stored items as often? Located in Albuquerque New Mexico we have you covered on your outdoor storage.

When searching for the best self-storage option for you be sure to search for storage size, type, and security. Keep in mind every trait that is beneficial to you when choosing a self-storage facility. Also, be sure to inquire about insurance and if it is offered by the facility or if you need to check with your home insurance to see if it covers storage.

When choosing a facility also think of the weather where you will be using an outdoor storage unit. If it is humid or frigid you may want to consider storing items indoor, especially vehicles. Not to freight, we will answer any questions you have about outdoor storage and if it’s right for you. Contact us and we will set you up with the best outdoor storage unit for you!

Office Storage: How to Use Your Storage Unit

Welcome back to the Albuquerque Self Storage blog! So, you have a business and need space for your office. You either need to create an office to work from or have space to store those extra items from the office. Working from a storage unit sounds like the perfect idea for small business owners or companies getting on their feet, but turning a storage space into an office is often not allowed.

Because of office zoning laws many storage facilities do not fall under the met requirements for businesses to operate. However, there are some locations that do meet the requirements and provide space for businesses.

Inventory Storage

If you have a small office in a zoned area and are seeing items pile up you may want to consider storing some inventory in a storage unit. Many retailers and shop owners store clothing and other items they sell in a storage unit to prevent clutter inside the store. Even if you have a closet for inventory, things pile up quickly and may overtake your office space. Many people utilize these spaces to store their inventory and office supplies to be able to move around and not have an eye-sore for a store or office.

Office Space

Look at Google, they started in a garage, so what’s stopping you? Ahhh, there’s no room in your garage because it holds all your other items, right? Maybe it’s time you put all that cluttered stuff into storage, so you can begin your dream company out of your garage and become Steve Jobs!

It is more often than not illegal to create an office to use in a storage unit, so it is better – and safer – to put your valuables in storage. However, some companies meet the local zoning requirements to operate businesses from their units. If you’re storage facility has the proper requirements met, then sometimes it is nice to operate a small business out of a unit. If you want to run your small business from a storage unit and keep your items in the garage some places that allow this are LifeStorage, and GreenBox.

Utilizations for Business

While you may not be able to run a business from your storage unit, many businesses profit from storage units. Here we have listed a few types of business that could use storage units to their benefit.

  1. Publishers

Many publishers have books, magazines, pamphlets, and many other products in their possession. Storage units are a good way for publishers to store all of the inventory they have before shipping it off to retailers.

2. Contractors and Landscapers

Many contractors and landscapers need to store their tools which can be difficult in small spaces. Many of the items contractors and landscapers need are very irregularly shaped, making it difficult to store. A storage unit is especially beneficial to these businesses as they can hold things such as lawn mowers, leaf blowers, and saws. Not having room in the truck or home can be difficult to store those items.

3. Artists

Artists can greatly benefit from a climate-controlled storage unit to protect their items and art. Whether these artists are storing their own personal art from a gallery or are artists for a theater this is a great way to ensure that nothing will be damaged from improper packing and storing. Storage units are also great to store any of the inventory that artists may have before sale.

4. Retailers

One of the best ways for retail stores to keep inventory is in a climate-controlled storage unit. Keeping clothes, jewelry, and other items sold in store in a storage unit can help to keep the backroom with other inventory cleaner and easier to maneuver. For business owners with retail stores a self-storage unit allows flexibility in a smaller store.

In the end there is a lot you can do to your storage unit to benefit your office storage and your business. If you are looking for extra space for your office contact us and we will help you find the perfect sized climate-controlled unit!

Motorcycle Storage: How To Prepare Your Bike

Motorcycle storage is fairly easy if you prepare your motorcycle properly. It is necessary to be sure you’re keeping your motorcycle clean and running so that it is quick and easy to use it again. Here we want to give you a few tips on how to prepare your motorcycle for storage, and how to be sure you can let your hair flow in the wind the day you take it out!

Clean Your Bike

Be sure you clean your bike thoroughly, not having any gunk or residue left behind. If you don’t clean your motorcycle, coming back to a bike with debris that has sat for weeks, months, or years will only delay your riding. After you’ve washed and thoroughly dried the bike you’ll want to wax your motorcycle before placing it in storage to prevent any parts from rusting. Spray your pipes with WD-40 to prevent any moisture from building up on the metal while it sits in your storage unit.

Charge Your Battery

Each bikes battery is different, and you can do what you wish to keep your battery charged. Newer motorcycles tend to drain battery slightly when the ignition is off for long periods of time to maintain automatic features such as the radio and clock. If you wish to keep a fully charged battery in your motorcycle while storing that is fine. You can also charge it every so often throughout the time it is in storage. However, make sure you do not let the battery die on you.

Tend to Tires

If there is a possibility of you being able to store your bike off the ground without its tires that would be ideal. But fret not, you can also store your bike with tires on a stand. Be sure to fill the tires until the maximum volume recommended. Then set the motorcycle on the center standand remember to rotate your tires every week to avoid flat spots. Not only will you save your tires, but you’ll also save your suspension.

Fuel and Oil

Tend to your fuel and oil by being sure everything is fresh and clean before storing your bike. Always check your coolant levels, your brakes, and your clutch. If anything needs to be refilled or replaced be sure to do so before you leave it sitting for months on end. If you prefer to completely drain the fluids from your motorcycle before storing then certainly do that, but do not leave previously used fluids in the bike. Allowing what was once bright and shiny oil and fuel to sit after having become dirty means possibly eroding engine parts.

We hope these few tips will keep you prepared for putting your motorcycle in storage. Don’t forget, you want to be sure you follow through on everything so that you can quickly and easily let your hair flow in the wind after taking your bike out of storage. If you need somewhere to store your motorcycle contact usand we’ll set you up in one of our climate controlled units!

Do You Need Self-Storage Rental Insurance?

Questioning if you really need that rental insurance to protect your items in storage? I mean, what can really go wrong. All of your things are locked in a climate controlled unit, so everything’s peachy, right? WRONG! No different than car insurance or homeowner’s insurance you want to keep your belongings safe, and storage rental insurance is a big part of that. If you are renting a self-storage unit, you need to be sure that you insure your items. Companies do not take the fall if damage is done to your storage unit during something such as a natural disaster. While you don’t think something like that can happen to you, sometimes Mother Nature has other ideas in store.

self-storage rental insurance risk vs insurance

Depending on the company and level of homeowner’s insurance you have you may be covered for items kept off site; however, this is not always the case. It is smart to check with your insurance company first to see what is covered under your insurance, and up to how much is covered. The average coverage often ranges from $1,500 to $50,000 (or sometimes 10% of your coverage limit). When asking your company for storage insurance you will need a detailed list of everything you plan to put away, this is where our tip from earlier in the month of keeping a checklist while packing becomes helpful! If your homeowner’s or renter’s insurance does not cover items kept off site be sure to speak with the facility you are renting from to see if they offer insurance – or can recommend a good insurance company.

If you are covered by your insurance agency always bring proof to the facility you are renting from, as most storage facilities require insurance before moving items into a unit. It would stink to be all packed and ready to unload your truck only to have the facilitator tell you that you need proof of insurance first. So, call up your company and double check with your facility to see what policies you may be provided with or may need. Also, discuss bundle deals with your insurance agency if you have not already done so. Handling all of this in the very beginning will be beneficial in the end, leaving behind unnecessary headaches and possibly outrunning Mother Nature.

While insurance may not be necessary for your facility, always double check and be prepared. You want to be sure you take every precaution to prevent anything terrible happening to your valuables. So, if you are wondering about insurance policies offered by Albuquerque Self Storage feel free to contact us and we will help you with a unit and policy today!

You Need Self-Storage

Like many people, your house is often cluttered with books, clothes, furniture, and things you seldom use, but don’t want to get rid of. Well not to worry, with self-storage you can keep all of it! Storage allows you to keep items that you don’t typically use, but may one day need. Self-storage units are a space rented to a tenant usually on a monthly to yearly basis. The beauty of self-storage is YOU. You are able to go in and out of your unit as you please, load and unload items when necessary, and have full control of everything in your unit.

why self-storage moving

Reasons You Need Self-Storage

  1. Moving out of a dorm room

We know how difficult it can be moving your child, or you yourself, from the dorm at a university. What do you do with the bedding, the lamps, the bean bag chair (which was way too big for the small room)? Easy solution … self-storage! Effortlessly place your items during summer or winter break in a storage unit for an affordable price.

  1. Moving an elderly parent

Whether you are moving an elderly parent to a nursing home, or your own home, some antiques and furniture may not be able to go with them. For safekeeping and preventing damage it is smart to store those important keepsakes in a self-storage unit. Make sure you invest in a climate controlled unit to ensure nothing happens to your loved one’s valuables.

  1. Moving or Renovating

Whether you are moving, or renovating your home, you need to find somewhere to hold all that furniture. What better place than a self-storage unit where you have total access to everything on your own time! Keep it simple by renting a storage unit per month for the short period of time during your move or renovation.

  1. Stocking Inventory

So, you have a small business, but not enough closet space in the office? Instead of keeping all the inventory in the trunk of your car, think of how much simpler it would be to rent a storage unit. Keeping inventory in a climate controlled unit will give you space and allow you to quickly grab items when you need to restock.

  1. Clearing up driveway space

Not sure where to put your motorcycle, car, or boat that your neighbor keeps bugging you about taking up space on their property? Look no further than outdoor storage. While not every company offers outdoor storage, Albuquerque Self-Storage does. We offer you between 20’ and 30’ of space for whatever your outdoor item is.

Choosing a Facility

Often times you want to choose a storage facility close to where you live so that it is easily accessible. Beyond location, look into the size of the unit you will need as well. For instance, we offer indoor and outdoor storage, with sizes ranging from 25 to 300 sq ft for you to choose from depending on your needs. Look for a climate controlled unit for your items, as well as a facility with security (whether it be surveillance cameras or security guards). We provide you with fenced security, controlled access, and climate controlled units to protect your items from theft and damage.

The cost of a self-storage unit varies on location and the size of the unit you rent. For example, a company in Chicago will charge much more than our company in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Many facilities also require you to buy a secure lock for your unit; however, we provide each unit with a secure lock and insurance! Do your research and find which facility works the best for your needs.

Why Self-Storage is The Best

Self-storage allows you freedom to store what you want, when you want, however you want. What more could you ask for? Now that we’ve told you the importance of self-storage and why you need it contact us and feel free to ask any questions you may have!

Tips on How to Transport Your Items to Storage

self-storage transportation house on truck

Prepare for Transportation

Clean All Items

Clean all items prior to packing to ensure no mold or dust residue and buildup. Not cleaning any items before storage, especially furniture which will likely be open to the air, can cause mayhem in the end. Before storing furniture wipe down items with a dry cloth and then clean with an appropriate cleaner for the material (iron, steel, wood) . Once you have cleaned the item thoroughly allow it to dry completely to ensure no moisture is trapped in the furniture.

Label All Boxes

Label all boxes to make sure you know where everything is. Don’t just write in a dull sharpie on the box – use colored tape and large letters to know what items go together and what is in each container. Although this takes more time, create a checklist of every item in each box.

Be sure to buy moving/storage grade boxes. Buying storage boxes means you are buying a thicker, studier box to hold all of your items – especially for those items that are heavy. Using the appropriate containers allows for better preventive care.

Dismantle Large Items

While not all furniture may need to be disassembled, it is smart to tear down large items in order to save space. While taking apart furniture such as bedroom sets or tables, do not do this without a partner nearby to help prevent injury. Once your large items are dismantled, be sure to wrap them in sheets for protective covering. Avoid using plastic as it can carry moisture, ruining furniture and certain materials. Once you are done taking apart large pieces, attach screws and hardware to the wrapping of these items to prevent losing any necessary parts.

Padding, Padding, Padding

Padding is an absolute necessity to packing up for storage. Whether you need to cover a mirror, dresser, or fragile items in a box, finding the right padding is crucial. You have a range of items to use for padding, such as bubble wrap, foam wrap, packaging paper, and moving blankets. You can also use household items such as tissue paper to wrap more fragile items to prevent chipping, and pillows and blankets you have lying around the house.


Packing the Truck

Back to Front

When packing the truck make sure to load the heaviest items first, focusing on putting those items against the walls of the truck to distribute weight evenly. Heavy items tend to be your larger items, allowing for room in the center of the truck once you load those first. Once the sides of the truck are loaded begin to work from back to front, placing more important items in the back of the truck (see why in just a moment).


Use light weight items to protect more fragile items – such as pillows against a mirror, or a mattress against drawers – doing so saves space and gives added protection. You also need to stack items heaviest to lightest in the truck to give you the most room and protect lightweight items from being crushed. For example place your books on the bottom, and your fragile items on top.


Be sure to strap down items to ensure nothing moves or breaks during the drive, especially heavier things such as broken down bed frames against the walls of the truck. By strapping these down you are able to prevent anything from falling over into the center of the truck, possibly crushing boxes.


Unloading the Truck

Rent a Dolly and Have Extra Hands on Deck

Having a dolly will help the physical demand of carrying heavy items from the truck to the storage unit. More than just two hands moving everything will also create ease and efficiency, as well as safety loading and unloading heavy items. Ask a friend or family member to help you with a fun day of moving around!

Store Items How You Will Need Them

If you are storing items that may not be used or taken out as often, place those in the back of the unit. Placing items used or taken out more often in the front will create ease when you need an item from your boxes (this is where labeling helps). Having items not as needed in the back allows you to quickly find what you do need upfront.

Stack Items Properly

Stack boxes on top of one another, of course placing heavier boxes on the bottom. Also make sure to place fragile items in a safe place where they will not fall or be crushed. Be sure not to stack items too high as that will often cause your items to topple over.

Leave an Aisle

Climbing over boxes certainly isn’t efficient to retrieve items in storage. A small aisle – no wider than two to three feet – will help when the day comes that you need something from the back of your storage unit.


Now you’re an expert at packing up and getting ready to move all your items into storage! If you need help with deciding which storage unit is best for you, or other ways to transport your valuables contact us here and let us guide you.

Self-Storage Locks For Your Unit

There are many ways to keep your storage safe but were going to focus on the most effective. Self-storage locks come in different shapes, sizes, and strengths which is why it’s important to know what you’re shopping for. Not all locks are as effective as consumers think. Most storage facility tenants rely on their storage provider to keep their belongings safe. This is not realistic, it is very possible that another storage facility tenant that has access to the same storage facility as you could easily break into your storage unit. Therefore, self-storage locks are crucial when it comes to not only having your valuables protected but secured.

Let’s discuss the first self-storage lock. It’s the most basic form of lock that is most commonly used in all self-storage units: “the padlock”. Please do not use this lock, this lock is so easy to bypass it should not even be called a lock. Anybody with internet access can easily pick this lock. In fact, if you google search “bump key” you can figure out how to pick this lock in a matter of seconds. On top of that this lock can easily be snapped off in no time at all. One pair of bolt cutters that you can purchase at Walmart will suffice in taking all your valuables in less than 5 minutes if you choose this lock. The only thing good about this lock is its price, but when you consider how much money you’re going to lose you’ll be wishing you splurged a little.  Meta Data: Lock

Next, there is the disk lock, now this lock is much better than the padlock but it’s still not the best. The main difference between the disk lock and the padlock is bolt cutters. Bolt cutters can easily snap a padlock within seconds, but disk locks don’t allow that. The metal used to hold the lock together is much thicker. However, they are both the same in that you can still use a bump key to pick both. To pick the disk lock much more time is required. Whereas the padlock lock picking can be done in minutes.

The latest in cutting-edge self-storage locks are electronic locks. Now not all storage facilities offer these. They are top of the line and can be expensive as well as hard to use. Here’s how they work. Storage locks are attached to kiosks essentially dispensing new code every 24 hours. This is ideal when it comes to self-storage because this doesn’t allow for criminal’s time to prepare to steal your code. There is a greater chance that a criminal cannot prepare to steal your valuables than if you had a lock. This is because the code or your self-storage lock is constantly changing every 24 hours.  Think about it in these terms, it’s far easier to hit a target that isn’t moving than a target that is.

Another form of lock is called a cylinder lock this lock is a more generic form of lock. This is the form of lock most of us are used to. This lock although common is extremely effective because it’s in the door or storage unit so it makes it more effective at deterring robbers. Combine the cylinder lock with the disk lock and you have your ultimate form. Although both locks can be bumped the chances of you bumping two locks and successfully getting away with it or not being seen are significantly lower than if you were to bump just one lock.

Make sure that whatever type of lock you’re purchasing, that it’s made up of expensive metals or at the very least not made up of aluminum. Aluminum locks are easily broken and top of that they rust incredibly easy which makes them vulnerable. Granted most storage units don’t have to deal with rain, but occasionally there are leaking problems within storage units. This means water damage in the future could be a possibility so don’t wait until it happens and be prepared now. Ultimately if you want to achieve premium security and protect your valuables you have three primary choices. The first is the disk lock, standard but will get the job done. Second is to combine the disk lock and the cylinder lock, creating two standard locks that combine to make a secure storage unit. Last your best option would be to opt in for the cutting edge electronic self-storage locks. However, these locks are considered premium and are not always offered in most storage facilities which are why I recommend taking this option no questions asked if available.

Climate Controlled Storage Units

Technology is always being updated! Whether it’s the latest iPhone,  hybrid fuel alternatives, or believe it or not even the latest storage units. Climate controlled storage units are one of the latest and greatest updates in the storage industry. In the past, if you had storage in a scorching state such as Arizona, New Mexico, or Nevada you were left at the mercy of your storage unit. Hoping your valuables and family heirlooms could make it in the sweltering heat. Thanks to climate-controlled storage units, worrying about your sacred possessions is a thing of the past. Whatever it is you’re cherishing will now be cherished. Instead of your valuables overheating in a blistering hot storage unit, they will now be regulated carefully.

Here’s how they work! In most climate-controlled storage units, humidity and temperature are monitored in your unit. Making sure the humidity doesn’t become too thick, while also monitoring the temperature. When the humidity in the air increases the airs ability to hold heat does as well. This means when the humidity decreases, it keeps temperatures lower. Climate controlled storage units use top of the line HVAC systems (heating, ventilation, and air conditioning). Accompanied with these HVAC systems are dehumidifiers, customizable thermostats, and heavy-duty insulation to manage temperatures and keep humidity at an optimal level.

The benefits of climate-controlled storage units are tremendous. Although most storage facilities charge a bit more for climate-controlled storage units, the gains far outweigh the cons. Especially if you’re in need of a storage unit in an extremely hot climate such as New Mexico. The benefits would be tremendous! Family heirlooms, furniture that is precious or even metals that could possibly melt would all be guaranteed safe.

There are two primary dehumidifiers that are used for climate-controlled storage units: desiccant and mechanical. Desiccant humidifiers function by using a dry chemical substance very similar to gel to remove excess moisture from the air. Since desiccant humidifiers use heat as their primary source of energy, they can be used to run off the waste of other excessive heat processes. The second form of dehumidifier which is the most generic form is called mechanical. The mechanical dehumidifier works just like air conditioning, instead of regulating the humidity of the unit the mechanical dehumidifier cools the unit down so that excessive heat and moisture don’t build up within the unit. Although this way of monitoring heat in moisture is the most commonly used form in Climate Controlled Storage Units it is also the most excessive when it comes to energy waste.

When it comes to self-storage the agreed upon optimal humidity temperature consumers want to go for is 55 percent. If the self-storage unit’s humidty is at 55 percent or less, then there is a good chance your valuables will be safe and secure. High humidity is the number one killer in hurting storage unit consumer’s valuables. Therefore climate-controlled storage units are ultimately the way to go when it comes to protecting valuables. Most climate-controlled storage units should either all be 55 percent or less to assure your valuables are being protected.

Benefits of Climate Controlled Storage

Earth hot thermometer

Don’t worry, I’ll get to climate-controlled storage in a few minutes, but the clock is ticking for our beautiful planet. I’ve seen the wounds firsthand. Ice smashing into the sea like children ripped from their mother’s arms. Fish washing up onto the shore of a small indigenous fishing village, all dead. Earth is on its last leg, and we keep trying to kick her knee in.

No, I’m not going to say that climate-controlled storage can help our planetary climate. Nothing cute like “put the earth in a giant climate-controlled storage unit!” Talk to me a year ago, maybe I’d write a section like that back then. So childish. Didn’t know what I know now. Wish I never knew it. I tried to save the planet with self-storage, like a fool, now all I can do is pray someone reads this blog. Here’s my message for the planet! Trust me, life organisms do not always avert planetary disasters and save their species.

Now, we might have a chance if we get off the earth. You and me, I know a way to get to other planetary systems! It’s easy. Don’t need anything more than some chairs and tables and a channel to the divine. Anyways, not important. I need to leave now, I’m going to be censored soon, they can’t see this. My next message will be hidden in another self-storage blog like this one. . . oh, what’s that boss? You need the climate-controlled storage unit blog done before 4pm? Ok, I was just about done anyway. . . .

  1. Protection from Extreme Temperatures

Do you live somewhere really hot? Where the sands burn like embers? Where the sun is like figuratively yelling at you and saying “Booooooo stay hot!” If you have that bad of a relationship with the sun, climate-controlled storage is the least of your problems. Seriously, the sun holds grudges. It will give you a little extra sizzle whether you’re on Earth or huffing Jupiter’s helium-rich atmosphere. Real quick way to lose a smile. However, climate-controlled storage would be great for you once things are patched up with the sun. Oh, right, climate-controlled storage is also super useful for those of you in cold places! Where the wind makes you really cold? Where the sun is like literally turning its back on you?

Either way, climate-controlled storage protects items that are harmed by the temperature. I have a cello, maybe a piano somewhere. I definitely didn’t want them to crack so I looked up how to store them in extreme temperatures. Oh, hello it’s climate-controlled storage! I also have a whole lot of important documents that I don’t want to dry out in normal old storage. My partner always bugs me “How come after you got into the self-storage industry you started keeping all of the receipts from the furniture store?” Well guess what, not receipts! Nope, we are talking trading documents from Primus 5, ever heard of it? Climate controlled storage has kept all my documents and instruments looking slick.

Green leaf dead cracked mud

  1. Better Air Quality

Now, when I say better air quality I’m talking about the amount of dirt and dust in the air. You know how like when you hit a pillow and you can all of those things come off it? That’s dust, and it can slowly damage stored items. A climate-controlled storage unit filters in fresh air. For example, let’s say you have a lot of books. Dust can make a books’ pages brittle, so you might want a climate-controlled unit. Or let’s say you wanted to put the universe into a tube, it would probably be best to put it into a climate-controlled unit. Well, maybe you wouldn’t want to put the universe in a tube, but the unit will help the longevity of electronics. Dust can wear down the stuff that makes electronics work.

  1. One More?

I don’t know… wouldn’t our time be better spent out on the front lines of climate change efforts? I certainly love self-storage, and I could always go off-world, but it is my duty to help save this planet! Ok, I’ve decided, I’m going to dedicate my life to climate change! I’ll finish up the blog first, though, since you’re already here.

Make a Change!

Really, though, don’t let me take the spotlight. Climate controlled storage is actually really useful and can make the lives of your possessions longer. Nothing wrong with that, is there?

Contact us at Albuquerque Self-Storage today and we’ll help you find the perfect unit!

Listen! Self-Storage Only Costs 40 Splatoons on Primus 5!

Storage letter blocks

Ok, I’m not crazy, but a portal opened on my patio and I was taken to the martian-made satellite planet Primus 5. I know, I didn’t know my patio was perfect either! I was aware of the possibility of a portal so I wasn’t terribly alarmed. I had a chance to leave this planet for the stars, and I took it. Of course, that doesn’t mean I stopped thinking about self-storage costs. Space, and specifically extra space, is going to be the most valuable commodity in the coming Space Age. The first thought I had when I landed on Primus 5 was ‘pretty cool’ but the second was ‘what are the self-storage costs on Primus 5? Luckily, Primus 5 isn’t bound to the galactic state currency which means–yep, that’s right–they use Splatoons. A small storage unit costs 40 Splatoons there! That’s the same as one American nickel.

Why Is This Important?

Let’s shoot the truth straight with each other. The earth’s population is bound to expand outside the bounds of what this planet can handle. City’s will swell until the whole earth is covered in metal and concrete. And when there is less space, the value of space goes up. Self-storage costs on earth are going to skyrocket in the next 1000 years–what Primus 5 offers is a hedge. A secure off-planet investment with a lot of room for growth. It will be cheap to maintain, and when things go sour and people start looking for storage off planet storage, you’ll already be there.

4000 Splatoons, 100 small storage units for one Lincoln, baby! You’ll be missing out on billions with self-storage costs these low!

However, it is not safe on Primus 5. Listen close, I learned a great many things when I was last there.

Tips and Tricks for Investing on Primus 5

  1. Don’t Fight the Portal

It’s rather vague, but you need to have a ‘perfect’ patio to open a portal. There are other sources online for the right furnishings, good ones too. You gotta stay calm when that portal wham-bams into existence and jump right into it. I always repeat the same phrase to myself before a portal opens, “Jump into the mouth of the snake!” It’s what an indigenous people of the Amazon say to remind themselves to face fear head on. You need to be ready, because the longer the portal is open the more damage that is done to your corner of space-time. If you aren’t dedicated to seeking low self-storage costs, then this isn’t a good place for your mind to be.

  1. Get Splatoons Before Arriving on Primus 5

People on Primus 5 will kill someone just for looking like they know the word Splatoon, much less give them to some lumpy off-world beggar. Do you want to steal fruit from horse carts and wrestle heels of bread away from other beggars? Then listen, you have to get some under the table on earth. Not a tough job. Any bank carries a reserve of Splatoons. Wink while wearing a Ring Pop and they’ll show you to the back.

gold blue fifty dollar bills

  1. Wait for My People

Remember that Ring Pop? Take it with you and my people will find you and get you underground. When they do find you, they will ask “What do you know?”and you have to respond “Self-storage costs a lot more than Splatoons.”

  1. Hire Protection

A lot of self-storage areas on Primus 5 are right smack in the middle of gangland, and my people aren’t going to walk you all the way there. Luckily, it’s common practice to hire a local to bring you through safely. Can’t just get one nice person to shepherd you the whole way through, no way. You’ll need a few, so treat them well and with respect. If they like you, you can get away with paying 1000 Splatoons for each.

  1. Learn Klak-Patlak

Klak-Patlak, not much worse than that. It’s the martial art practiced on Primus 5. Remember that Ring-Pop? Keep it in your back pocket, my friend. The gate to the self-storage area has been closed for 2000 years, ok, so this is a big deal and don’t mess it up. The gate is carved with the image of your perfect patio from back on earth. Twist the ring-pop into the patio umbrella and the gate will open, and that’s when you need Klak-Patlak. The gate guardian is obviously waiting.

  1. Keep your Ear to the Ground

Ok look, I’ll be frank, I’m not only interested in self-storage costs. I have a lot invested in the development of Primus 5, which means I need eyes and ears on the ground. I asked my friend Chris to write a really cool and dramatic political story for this section, but I hung up the phone after 5 minutes. He has this weird dominance thing. He coaches an 8th grade debate team and he tries to make me feel small by telling me over and over how much smarter the kids are than me. Yes, Chris, please paint a picture of how terribly sad it is that these 8th graders don’t have a comprehensive knowledge of the Arab Spring. Yes, what a world, indeed! Anyways, keep me informed about what’s happening over there.

Have Fun!

How cool is it that you get to help develop a whole industry on Primus 5, right!? I really appreciate it, so take some time for yourself and have a good time! Self-storage costs can handle themselves for a few minutes while you sample all of the noodle bowls.

If you’d like to look into self-storage in Albuquerque, contact us today!